The J-O-B

Well another interesting day in my life. Nothing on minimalizing today, well traditionally speaking. I found out I do not have a job to go back to on February 14th.

Backstory first.

In December I confirmed I would be returning to work and when to my employer. He told me that he didn't have a position for me and I told him I need work as of February. I panicked and phoned the other notary in town and spoke with her. She wanted to interview me (and likely hire me based on she knows my work and track record from how closely all notaries and lawyers work in this town) BUT wanted to clear it with my boss first in order to have no weirdness between them since as stated before we all work closely and help each other out in the industry.

I phone my boss to discuss it and he just starts talking on about how he doesn't want to lose me and what office he'll put me in and how I may have to do some reception before I can say anything. I'm confused. I talk with the other woman who works there and we mutually decide we are ok with sharing conveyance and reception duties evenly and I would be coming back 6 hours a day. She talks to my boss about this and he says I can offer you 4 hours a day so I accept.

I should have seen the signs since every time lately I run into my boss he begins by saying how slow they are. He never full on says I don't have a position though which keeps me thinking it's plans as usual, especially since every time I remind him of my return date.

So I go in today, 10 days before my return date and he tells me there is no work and when there is he can bring me back. I tell him I have mortgage payments to make and can't wait for that. So that's it, I'm not going back.

A meltdown and a breakdown later I'm phoning the other notary again, scrambling. She will phone me later. She phones me back and says I would have hired you had we sorted this in December but I decided to work things out with what I had and now I'm committed to that, not bringing another person on.

By this time luckily I had time to have everything sink in. All day I was bombarded with "that's not fair" and "employment standards act" and "against the law". Everyone was more mad than I was. To be honest I was two things: frustrated and hurt. Frustrated that I could have had this sorted two months ago and hurt because I have always been such a good employee who has helped my boss in any way I could and bent over backwards in some cases (like when I was supposed to have a week off to plan everything leading up to my friend's wedding and ridiculously morning sick or coming in on my maternity leave to help out EVERY time he asked). Hurt because he didn't seem to value me enough as an employee or person to put aside selfishness and let me go in December rather than string me along to the last second and leave me to sort it out. But to be honest I am overall relieved. It can be a very stressful, toxic environment at times and I try hard to keep that out of my life, generally speaking. So everyone that was telling me to fight it and file a complaint so he'll settle, first of all, I appreciate your concern and love for me SO much. BUT that's just not me. I am not doing it not because I'm letting him walk all over me or I don't care that he is being blatantly against the law and has said a few comments that would definitely get him in trouble. I am not proceeding because that path is just all negative. I would end up dwelling on this unfortunate situation for much longer than necessary and the negative energy around it would just eat away at my spirit. I try to live my life with love at the root of all proceedings and that does not fit in with filing proceedings against him.

I am taking this as a sign. I am not meant to be doing this anymore. Maybe if the other notary had phoned me and said, "oh my god, I need a conveyancer so much. I'll pay you whatever wage you want!" Then maybe I was meant to continue. I sat and meditated for awhile on what I wanted to do. I didn't really get anything from it. I did our budget numbers next. If we don't pay anything other than minimum payments on our credit cards, have no personal money and put nothing away in savings I believe we could manage me staying home. That doesn't really appeal to me so much though. Then I thought more about what I want to do and one name kept coming into my head. It's a yoga store here in town called Fruv. I love the ladies who work there, I love the clothes and what they stand for, and it's as close to my yoga teacher career as you can be without teaching yoga. It's the right path for me. It's a big pay decrease but I'm ok with that. I need to stop thinking of the J-O-B and start thinking more about spending my time in ways that is good for my spirit rather than just for our chequing account. They make everything in Canada, they use renewable resources such as bamboo for a lot of their clothes, and they quite often hold charity events. They represent healthy and fun living. These are my people. The only worry if I get hired? My paycheque being reinvested in the store immediately. I sense a lesson in self-control coming. Oh well it will go quite well with my minimalist journey :D

At any rate, whether I'm meant to work at Fruv or somewhere else or not at all, I know I'm on the right path by putting my soul's needs before material needs.

Eli's Birthday Fundraiser/Telethon/Online Garage Sale Extravaganza!

So I'm nearly a week into my minimalization journey. What a road it's been so far. Hubby and I are seriously both on such a high from releasing ourselves from these possessions. I read or heard once how much of our energy having possessions takes and I never really thought about that before but it makes sense. You are conscious of this possession and where it is and what it "means" to you so of course that takes energy to think about that each time you look at it.

So I decided I didn't really want to give away our possessions because we wanted them to go to homes that really needed and would respect them, but I didn't want people to think we were just greedy so I remembered one of our 2011 goals to start an RESP for Eli. Thus the Eli RESP fundraiser was born meaning all the money we make from selling what we don't use is going towards Eli's education fund, something which he hopefully WILL use someday.

This idea has been crazy successful. I just posted an album of pictures on facebook and in this past almost week I have made $240 for Eli's education fund. I'm not too surprised because we have always invested in pretty good things and often de-clutter (something much different from what we are doing right now mind you). We have good things for cheap prices, but the amazing response from friends and family has been such a reminder of what a beautiful thing community is. The furthest purchaser's location thus far? Edmonton. My cousin wants my No Doubt Tshirt so bad she's willing to pay the $2 for the shirt plus shipping. Love you Ms. Scott!!!!

Also I have inspired three more friends to do the same thing. Every time I talk to people about this little journey we're on I feel a little silly because I think most people don't get it but as I start talking about it more I think my assertiveness and enthusiasm about it actually ends up inspiring them. I'm just not happy living a life by someone else's standards and my favorite saying is: A leader doesn't say "follow me", he/she says "I'll go first."

You can't be afraid to get out there and be you. If that means selling your couch and hearing "what are you going to sit on?!" a few times daily, then so be it. If being me means being me with less things I am happy with that. I know what's important to me, I don't need to keep things to have my memories and that doesn't make me unsentimental or unfeeling, it simply means I am making room in my life for the things that matter RIGHT NOW. Making room for me spending more time and energy with my family. And I'm not saying that if you keep mementos and souvenirs that means you don't want to spend time with your family, it simply means this is the path I'm on and I accept that it might be different from yours. Or it might not be. We'll see I guess.

Less is more UPDATE

So I did my closet today. I was ruthless. I kept enough work clothes for 10 days which means 5 shirts, 4 dresses, 2 pairs of pants, a pair of work bermudas, and 3 skirts. The most of one item I kept was 6 sweaters other than my 2 weeks of underwear and socks. The thing that choked me the most was how many clothes I had to keep for maternity and post-partum. But oh well, I only kept the good quality ones, anything else I need I can buy.

So there is a gigantic pile of clothes on our bedroom floor.

Then I started on Eli's clothes but I'm having trouble remembering how often I had to change him in the beginning stages. Also there is premie clothes, newborn, 0-3 months and 3-6 months all for the beginning stages so I'm not sure how much of which he needed and how fast he outgrew everything and started getting too big for the typical sizing. Geez, amazing how much you can forget in only a year.

I'm also brining a bunch of things to consign to local store Angel Babies. Exciting stuff!!

I did buy Eli a new pair of Robeez today though. But here were my reasons:

1) the store had them 50% off

2) he loves his robeez and has troubles in hard soled shoes

3) he often slips in his current shoes (one pair Stonz, one pair robeez, one pair padraig) and these have textured soles rather than leather

4) they are brown with plaid black and red lumberjack type print!!!!

Ok, maybe that last one isn't a good reason, but the other 3 are!

But the best part about cleansing my wardrobe is I feel cleansed! The rest of the day I felt liberated and lighter. It's wonderful to only keep what you wear and like the look of yourself in! There were three things I really wrestled with. I did end up tossing one and we'll see about the other two. It's strange how many memories we have tied to clothes isn't it?

Another great thing about it, I now have 3 extra drawers!!! That'll help me keep the clothes I kept more organized instead of stuffing them into a drawer where I can't tell what is even in it. Also more hangers! And lastly, I've inspired my husband (and a few others by the comments on my last post) to do the same!

Tomorrow I hope to finish Eli's clothes and do our coat closet. Backpacks and scarves beware!

Less is more

I'm on another clean out and get rid of stuff kick. It's nearing a season change and that always gets me all riled up to let go of a bunch of stuff. I know I did this less than a month ago but I didn't get very far, only going through our junk closet. A friend on facebook posted an article about a woman who writes a blog about living with less. Her blog is:

www.theminimalistmom.com

Truly interesting and inspiring stuff. I mean as I said before, pretty much a change in the wind can make me want to declutter but this gave it a whole new spin. Only having what you need and use. It just got me to thinking on so many things. Do I really need two cake pans? Or even one really? How often do I bake a cake? I think I could count the number of cakes I've baked since moving out of my parents house on one hand. And even so I think most of those were baked at my parent's house. So I could just borrow a cake pan or go over there to bake a cake.

This woman went so far as to only have enough clothes as she can wear in a week. She literally has to do laundry once a week in order to have anything to wear. I find that really impressive since she has a son only about 5 months older than mine. I think I would only be able to weed it down to two weeks. Just in case.

The best part about a minimalist life is that you're not living cheaply. You are living with less at a higher quality. Buy good quality, even though it might be more expensive and then you will have to replace it less often. Wouldn't you rather have 2 beautiful, nice fitting jeans than 8 pairs that kind of fit and are sort of nice? Or one fantastic purse rather than 5 $20 purses that are ok? Quality over quantity.

She was pretty ruthless and says she can fit her wardrobe into a medium suitcase now. Impressive. She didn't keep anything that she didn't love the way she looked in. What a concept, hey? Don't keep stuff you don't like or don't use. So simple, yet how many of us actually do it? Same goes for food though right? Don't eat it unless your body can use it. So simple, yet how many of us actually think about that before taking a bite of food?

I really have some questions for this woman though. For one I would love to see her spreadsheet of what she considers necessities and basics for wardrobe. Something to go off for when I do it myself. Also how does she deal with different wardrobe genres? She is a stay at home mom with no current plans of returning to work so she doesn't have to worry about an office wear section. But she is an athlete so there is something she needs. I need yoga wear for doing and teaching yoga. I also need office wear, casual wear, I would love to have a more fun wear-out-to-dinner-with-my-husband-and-look-fabulous wear section but alas I don't, and maternity clothes and I would like to keep a section of clothes to wear after baby but before I'm back to my regular weight section. It's frustrating to keep that many types of clothing that you only wear for 3-9 (or 8 in my case) months at a time!

So my trek to a more minimalist life began with a list today. A list of everything I think I can do without. It's long. Some of it will make us money (I smell a good garage sale coming!) But it's exciting. We also went through all our paperwork tonight and cleared out pretty much our entire filing system. It felt SO good!! Plus I found a lot of things I had feared lost forever.

Another thing I did was divide Eli's current toys into three baskets. I plan on switching baskets every week so he enjoys and plays with his toys more and then every week he gets a basket of ones he hasn't seen in two weeks. I'm hoping it'll work well. His megablocks stay put though, that's a lot to move all the time. Plus my mom would miss playing with them too much.

Here's to living a higher quality life!

I used to head bang to music...

I'm vibrating. I've had such a strange day. Ups and downs, emotional highs and lows. Eli has been super cranky the past two days, I'm pretty sure tooth #5 must be on it's way... hope hope hope. On the bright side it gives me LOTS of practice at parenting from the heart and really being present in the moment. It's still very difficult.

We had a beautiful women's full moon meditation that Eli also attended. He was so good, he always is when there is meditating involved. And a friend Fateh and I both came to the conclusion that a circle full of women is the ideal play pen. Everyone commented on how calm he was and of course I beamed with pride. His spiritual name Siri Simran does mean great meditator after all.

So yeah on to my topic of the day. Eli has been banging his head against everything. Unfortunately fear took over and the negative part of my mind remembered reading something somewhere about relating autism to head banging. But I read it over and it's a rare connection and he is the complete opposite of all the other symptoms in that he loves interacting, talking, being cuddled, and can't wait to get to the next milestone. So I am definitely not worried about that.

The other reasons for head banging according to baby centre:

1) Attention

2) Comfort

3) Pain relief

4) Frustration

To me most of these seem like the same thing. He is in pain so he's frustrated and wants my attention for comfort. Their suggestions are less than helpful: keep him safe, reinforce good behaviour, give him a metronome (not sure how this helps??), give him a bedtime routine.

I just don't have any solution to what I need. What do I do when he is banging his head at the moment he is banging his head? I tried cuddles, distraction by playing with him, vibrating teether, food, milk. It was enough frustration to make me want to start banging my head. If anyone has gone through this and has suggestions feel free to post. I will try those natural teething capsules if this continues tomorrow, hopefully it won't though.

In more exciting, awesome Eli news, he now dances. As of Saturday he started bobbing away to music. He especially likes the tunes his excersaucer (now play table) sings and MC Yogi. He's been known to boogie to MJ a bit too. It's so hilarious he just starts bending his knees, bobbing his head and sticking his butt out. My heart nearly exploded with love the first time he did it. Even in these ridiculously trying days I love him unconditionally and compassionately. Still no update on height and weight. It's almost getting to a point where why bother until he's a year?

Lastly, this blog is called confessions of a new mom's first year. So in theory, it should be ending when my boy turns a year old. Which means it should be ending in exactly 23 days.

But to end the suspense of all my many, many (*cough 4) faithful followers, 2 of which are actually the same person, I have decided my blogging will not end at my son's first birthday. Rest at ease, it will continue despite the name being slightly confusing since I feel there are many more stories to tell about Eli and there will be other "first years" to document yet. I may change the description but that's ok, it's allowed. Horray for the edit button.

Why 11 month olds are kind of like dogs...

I hope this post doesn't offend anyone. Trust me, everything is purely meant to be funny and/or a little satirical.

Why 11 month olds are kind of like dogs:

1. They'll eat anything off the floor.
2. They like to stand right where you want to walk.
3. If you leave food unattended for even a matter of 30 seconds, when you come back in the room it's being devoured:
4. At bath time you get as wet as they do.
5. They eat house plants.
6. When they get into something they're not supposed to (i.e. garbage, compost, or recycling) your whole house knows about it.
7. They chew on stuffed animals rather than play with them.
8. For someone so small they can manage to take up an entire queen bed while sleeping.
9. You feed them from your plate once and that's it, anything you're eating they feel they have entitlement to.

If you have any others to add, feel free to comment :) Have a great day!

Wonderful, wonderful Hubby :)

First of all Happy Birthday for tomorrow Justin, more on that later!

In Eli news, my precious boy just turned 11 months old yesterday. This means two things. One: he's getting so big!!! And two, I only have one, read it. O.N.E. month of maternity leave left.

I have mixed feelings about this. I really want to make a little more money, have a morning to myself so to speak, and earn enough hours to have another maternity leave. But I have to leave my little buddy!!!!

I know you're not really supposed to have a favorite age. I hear it all the time when people get asked "what was your favorite month in the first year?" Most say: "each one gets better," or "they are all great in different ways." To be perfectly honest, 9 months was pretty awesome. He could play on his own, walk and eat finger foods. OK but since then it actually has seemed to get better and better. I feel like the past two months, Eli and I have bonded so much. It's doubtful that this wouldn't be related to the fact that I have somewhat changed my attitude toward doing 90% of the Eli duties and changing to more of a parenting from the heart style of relating to Eli. It's been so exciting! He is also getting so much more of a personality. He's laughing and smiling nearly all the time! He runs towards me for hugs. He likes to cuddle with me and I can comfort him easily when he's upset.

What a period of growth I've been in lately. I went through a serious depression day as you likely saw if you read my blog often. Justin has been working ridiculous overtime and with that comes with ridiculous hours (all night sometimes). So this has meant house and Eli activities and chores are all me. I went through a poor me stage and then I really embraced this. I get to keep our house afloat and happy and bond with Eli and Justin gets to be more involved with the job he really likes and make some more money for our family. I also discovered what I miss most about Justin being gone. It's dinner time. So it made me think why? Because we talk the most during dinner time! So we came to an agreement that if he can, he will work as much as he can during the week as long as he's home for dinner, which he needs the break and the food anyway so why not? Then hopefully he can have some or all of the weekend off. I just feel bad that he can't take tomorrow off since he wanted to because it's his birthday.

Speaking of his birthday I did my first sewing project in a long, long time. I made him a hunter hut. It was a struggle the first day but once my mom helped me adjust the pattern it went well. Of course he tried it on and I have to rip it apart and make it smaller but maybe I need more patience in my life! No, I definitely do. At any rate, Justin knows my aversion to sewing and he is always looking for a hat big enough for his head that is cool so he was pretty touched by my efforts. That felt pretty good.

I just wanted to do a little tribute to my fantastic husband. He has always been fun loving and caring. I first knew I loved him about two weeks into the relationship but managed to hold out about a month before I told him. I first knew I was going to marry him when I got the chicken pox 3 months into our relationship and was the sickest I have ever been in my life and completely miserable not to mention awful to look at! Justin visited me every single day for the month I had them despite him working two jobs. He brought me movies I like and snacks (once I could eat again when the chicken pox down my throat had healed a bit). We lived together after 5 months and loved it! Always a big helper with dishes, house work and just in general. I coerced him into proposing to me by saying I wouldn't move to Quebec with him to do his masters unless we were married. He was the perfect groom. He was and still is amazing support through any physical ailments that I've suffered and always takes care of me and encourages me and pushes me to try something new. He always supports my crazy spur of the moment intuitive decisions like telling him he had to apply to SFU and it didn't matter that the deadline was in three days, ormoving on a whim back to Penticton or having a baby a year earlier than we had planned or manifesting our perfect home to buy and buy quickly! He brings home the bread so to speak, he introduced me to our spiritual path, and he always, always grounds me and makes me think about things in a different way to encourage change and growth. He's drop dead gorgeous with a smile that could melt your heart and a dark curly fro that you can't help but talk about. He has anime eyes and a heart the size of the world. He'll help anyone and everyone he can and he has the biggest dreams and ambitions of anyone I've ever known. I am so proud to call him my husband, my partner, my love, my Justin. I love you! Happy 29th Birthday!