My Top Ten Tips For New Parents

I know my friends will ask me for advice on parenting once they get pregnant. Therefore, I need to write down the little tidbits now before I forget them and can only think to say, "it goes fast try and enjoy every second of it," or something original like that. So here I go!

1) Firstly and most importantly there is no perfect way to parent. As long as you are doing what feels right to you and you feel you have researched the options enough to make you feel comfortable with your gut feeling then you are doing what's right for your child.

2) Don't compare your baby with other babies and come to the conclusion that you are a bad mother because yours doesn't do this or that like this other one does. Every baby is different and likes different things, matures at different rates, gains weight and grows and different rates, and hits milestones at different times.

3) You are an amazing mother (or father) and you should tell your partner he or she is an amazing parent as much as you can. Mom's especially just need to hear this reassurance often.

4) There will be times when you will feel depressed and maybe not even want to be around your baby. Again, you are not a bad mother you are just riding ridiculous hormones and dealing with an incredible change in your everyday life. Sometimes you will need a moment to yourself to collect your thoughts and be with yourself.

5) Try not to forget who you are. You are not just "mom", you are still a person. It may take a few weeks or months depending how quick you are able to feel comfortable leaving your child but you need to get out and do something you enjoyed before baby, yoga, working out, a run, a walk on your own, a sport, whatever it is make time for it. Even reading or writing, just as long as it's something for you.

6) Time flies by so fast and try and cherish every moment!!!! (What?!! It really is true!)

7) Cherish time with your baby, alone, but don't forget to spend time with your partner as well. Kiss them goodnight, goodbye, hello everytime! Give a back rub or a foot rub. Little things like that will keep the love going strong even when it may seem like you are never awake and/or functioning at the same time. Check in once a week on how maybe you can find more time for each other and what you can you do to make it happen.

8) You will get more kid's stuff then you every know what to do with!!! Everyone will buy you things even relatives you've never met. Keep the handmade stuff and don't attach too much to things you know you'll never use. Keep 3 bins: stuff he's too small for, stuff he's too big for, and stuff he actually wears. Try not to shop too much for stuff beforehand, babies really don't need that much anyway, especially if you breastfeed or co-sleep. If you want to wear your baby you may not even need a fancy stroller. Whatever works for you though!

9) Just try to stay calm. When your baby is upset it's in direct relation to how you are feeling usually. I once was in the kitchen chopping peppers and I cut my finger pretty badly. Eli was in the living room and immediately started screaming! You are more connected with this child than you'll ever realize Moms! If you need to pass the baby to Dad briefly, go calm yourself for a few minutes and then take baby back. Those couple minutes can make a world of difference.

10) Every day is different. What works one day for your child will be a total loss another day. Be flexible and willing to change and modify as they need it. Change positions while carrying, try different soothers, try different positions while feeding or burping, etc. Every day is different!!!

Ok I should probably leave it at 10. I think I'm out anyway, or at least I've made my point.

Eli is 4.5 months now, weighing in at 15 lbs 4.5 ozs and around 26 inches in length (he's so kicky that it is really hard to measure him!)

I am also pleased to report I am finally starting my yoga teacher training in less than a month. It's something I have wanted to do for years but am finally getting to after a brief delay to have Eli. It's going to be a lot of fun and something for me!

Sneak attack Tip #11:

All your baby needs is you and your love!

On that note I will call it a night!

July 7, 2010 - EDIT

I needed to add a really important #12

12) If you're going to breastfeed, it is hard and it probably will hurt, or at least if it does, you are not alone. All the books I read said, it shouldn't hurt, you're doing it wrong if it does. Well way to make a mom who's already in pain feel like crap! You're doing it wrong. You can get all the help and have the right latch and it could still hurt! BUT!!!! Do it for 6 weeks and it won't hurt anymore (unless you are unlucky and get mastitis/infection). Seriously, just stick it out for those 6 weeks and becomes a total joy and great bonding experience. I love it!

4 Month Milestone! - Co-Sleeping Diatribe

Well my little one turned 4 months old yesterday!!! His last weigh-in was Monday the 7th and he weighed 14.5 pounds and was nearly 26 inches. His weight has definitely slowed down significantly after 2 months.

What has happened since I last blogged? Well I'm glad you asked. He has rolled over a few times. He has slept 7 and 8 hour stretches. He has had super spit up days. He has had green poop (TMI I know). The green poop tends to be associated with too much dairy for Mom and the super spit up days go with too many legumes for Mom (beans, lentils, soy, peanuts etc.).

Eli's eyes are also turning hazel (haha I win one feature!). He is growing so much! He's teething more too, painful to watch and to deal with at times. He also had his first jolly jump on friday and the first time in an exersaucer at a friend's house (we bought a jolly jumper the next day). He also went in is baby wrap carrier front ways which makes him very happy because he wants to see everything! He also went in his stroller front ways for the first time at the farmer's market and also really enjoyed that. I was really surprised to see how many milestones come with 4 months, basically because they come with head control. So I guess it's not necessarily 4 months but it is in Eli's case.

I've had more sleep, less meltdowns, overall just such a better parenting experience. I have had more issues with my back and hip though which make parenting difficult I must say but I've had to get really ok with asking for help from others.

I mainly wanted to talk about co-sleeping today. I had a conversation with someone I'm close too and they kept warning me that I need to cut out co-sleeping as soon as possible. I've heard this from others as well. I really want to see the evidence showing that the longer you wait the harder it is. Most of these people don't know people who co-sleep. I always ask for an example of someone who had a problem with it. They can't usually give me one unless it was just going from in the crib in a room to in a crib in their own room. We plan on co-sleeping with Eli until our next child comes and then they can sleep in their own bed. If this doesn't work out I guess Eli will sleep with Dad and new baby will sleep with Mom in a different bed. Everything I read has told me that children who co-sleep are much more independent and secure and have no problems transitioning as toddlers. After stating this fact to the person I was speaking with today, they simply replied, "you read too much." I found this hilarious. Sorry for taking an interest in my parenting rather than basing it on simply fear of what "could happen".

I am not in any way saying everyone should co-sleep. Simply do what feels right and if you need reassurance read!!! READ READ READ!!! If it feels right to you it probably is ok but it never hurts to do your research especially if you have people in your life such as who I dealt with today.

Peace and blessings to all!