2011 in a Nutshell

I did this last year and enjoyed my year in review post so much that I had to do it again.


I will start as I did last year with how we brought in the New Year... Justin and I were ridiculously sick with the stomach flu and the three of us just watching movies in the guest room (because that's where the tv was).  Not ideal but still we brought in our first new year as a family together.
January and February I spent on my minimalist journey to live with less stuff and finance Eli's RESP.  Also in February I found out a didn't have a job to go back to after maternity leave and scrambled to find something.  January was when Eli really started his hand-eye coordination and playing became really fun.  Also in February we celebrated Eli's first birthday in style with chocolate cupcakes and a group bath afterwards.
March I worked for Christine Duncan a notary and got laid off by the end of the month.  March is also when I found out about our miracle #2 on the way:  Ozzy!  
April, Eli decided to wean himself, whether I was ready or not!  I never thought I would take weaning so hard!  This was also when we all started sleeping through the night again.  I continued looking for work with no luck.  
May I worked a day for Elections Canada.  
June we attended our first Kundalini Yoga Immersion as a family, it was so exciting to let our little guy be a part of it and feel a part of our community again for myself.  June was so exciting for me because I started teaching a regular class at my favorite yoga studio Purple Lotus.  I also participated in an awesome yoga flash mob.  I was also blessed to be a bridesmaid for my wonderful friend Amanda, Eli was a ring bearer.  I also started working again for Christine Duncan.
July started out with my 10 year high school reunion.  In July we went to another good friend Jenn's wedding.  We also started looking at houses to move into with Justin's parents.  I also participated in a moving workshop for yoga about compassion which benefitted a family in need. July was also when Eli started climbing everything!
In August we committed to the house process and put our house up for sale.  I also helped with a week long workshop with my yoga mentor Mugs in Naramata.  What an amazing experience and taught me so much about teaching.  We also took Eli to his second PNE and had an amazing trip!  I believe this is when Eli got his molars (but not 100% sure).  He got his top molars before his second set of bottom teeth came in.  Weird.
September I was nearly working full time and not much else other than another amazing Kundalini Yoga Retreat with the family.
October was mainly spent at the chiropractor as he tried to hold my pregnant body together.  I took it real easy and had a pedicure, haircut and did maternity pictures.  Grandma and Grandpa He came into town to help take Eli trick or treating as the cutest little cow.  He also got his eye teeth.
November was spent being cranky and waiting for baby who finally showed up on November 23 at 11:37 am :)
Since then the year has been a bit of a haze.  We did the usual Harris Christmas lunch with my dad's family which was so much fun, we need to see them more than once a year!  Christmas eve and morning was spent with my parents and the boys were spoiled rotten by everyone.  It was a much more handmade Christmas due to money constraints but honestly I loved that.  My mom made Eli an apron for cooking and a cute tool case.  We're going to get my Dad working on a toddler bed for him in the new year.  Christmas Day and New Years eve were spent in Westbank with Justin's Dad's family which was a total blast and again the boys got spoiled rotten.  The only other news of December was that Eli started sleeping in his big boy bed (the crib side car-ed on our bed).  New Years Eve was welcomed by fireworks waking us all up but Eli. I gave Justin a kiss and then fed a now awake Ozzy who normally now sleeps 10-1 ish in his cradle.  And even though it was an hour earlier than normal I was still so happy.  2012 is going to be an amazing year, every year gets better.

As for resolutions, I had a baby in 2010 and 2011 but I wouldn't expect one in 2012!
My resolutions are a lot different than last years, much less specific.  Though I am proud that quite a few got accomplished, this year just feels like a different approach is needed.

My resolutions are:
*Let the universe solve our housing situation.
*Change my mindset to "we have the right amount of money" rather than keeping saying I need more.
*Keep parenting from the heart with my boys and really listening to them.
*Find time for myself, it's there, I know it.


Happy New Year everyone!  Reach for whatever you want in 2012, it's attainable!

I suck at this

So I still have yet to spend a full work day alone with my boys.  On Thursday I did an hour and a half in the morning alone and 2 hours in the afternoon alone.  They were both terrible and painful.  The afternoon portion I screamed so hard my vocal cords hurt that evening, I punched and kicked a wall, I locked myself in the bathroom, I repeatedly chanted "I suck at this" while crying at the kitchen table.

When people say that transitioning from one kid to two is hard, they are underestimating.  The word hard just doesn't seem to quite encompass the feelings you will go through.

I know it will get easier, you don't need to remind me.

I also know I don't really "suck at this" and I'm not the "worst mother in the world".

But when your toddler has been screaming for close to two hours with barely even minutes between tantrums it's really easy to think these things.

Ozzy is sleeping less on his own.  He wouldn't take a soother at all up until yesterday and now he will take it briefly before spitting it out.  Progress!

We are also trying to get him to sleep on his own more by getting him full and cozy then putting him down to sleep and if he fusses a bit we'll leave him.  If it turns into crying we pick him up for a cuddle and some love and then after a few minutes try putting him down again.  It's working well actually.

My back doesn't love carrying him around all day so that is the other option considering I still have a toddler to play with and take care of.  

I'm actually going in to do some work tomorrow at my old job.  They need some help with catch up and we could really use the money!  I've embarked on an adventure that I've always wanted to do.  The money would probably be better spent on groceries considering money is so tight but this is the first time the timing has felt right.  I am going to do the Vancouver Sun Run!  I know it's only 10 km but I'm really excited about it!  I've always felt the healthiest when I run (not to mention the slimmest).  I find running very meditative as well.  In the past when I've wanted to train to do the Sun Run I have been advised not to by a health professional, or had an injury, or been pregnant.  This time I'm good to go!  I'm going to do the clinic (hence the cost) because I feel I need that weekly commitment to get me to go the distance, also to help me so I train gradually and don't hurt myself.  I'm wondering if they expect me to train outside of once a week because that may prove more difficult.  One thing I've been realizing is that it's bloody cold outside!  But I start in 5 weeks!  I think I am most excited because this is something all for me.

I've also signed Eli and I up for a couple cheap courses through the community centre to have some special Eli and Mommy time.  I'm really looking forward to the new year.  I was really nervous to have a baby during the coldest months of the year when walking isn't always an option to get out of the house.  But I probably spent as much on decaf ice coffees on those walks as I will on these programs anyway.

2012 is going to be a big year though.  I have to finish my yoga training by the end of the year so I need to do my specialty project and practicum, practical exam and written exam to finish that.  I also want to teach 2 yoga classes a week.  I'm also going to be working here and there.  With Sun Run training and my Eli & Mommy time that will be a full schedule.

Well my mommy is over helping and I had to steal this opportunity to blog.  Baby is still sleeping so I think I will also try and eat!  Life is good, I love my family!  I don't suck at this, I just need practice.

Gulp

My hubby goes back to work on Wednesday.  That is 2.5 days from now.  My my how 2 weeks can fly by.
I'll be honest, I'm pretty frightened to do this on my own.  I know I'll be ok, like no one will die or anything, I'm mostly worried about my sanity.  The hardest thing I do in a day is get Eli down for a nap or down for bed at night.  He has been so cranky lately.  I know it has a lot to do with sharing mommy (and especially sharing Baba, he won't even let her hold Ozzy) but it's to the point of tantrums all day.  Before food, after food, resisting naps, resisting bed, resisting diaper changes.  It's exhausting for me to deal with and I have my hubby taking care of baby while I do it (or vice versa).  
My friend going through a similar situation just 3-4 weeks ahead of me posted an article today summing up toddler tantrums in three ways, tired, hungry, or needing to run around, preferably outside.  
I know he's not getting enough sleep.  Sleep sharing with both is not the problem, Ozzy barely makes any noise.  But we can't seem to get Eli to sleep before 10:00-10:30pm and that's with fighting.  Then he's up with me and Ozzy at 6:30-7am.  And naps have been horrible.  A fight all the way.  Today finally worked, he fell asleep at 11:45 and woke up about a half hour later so I went and lied down with him and just brought sleeping Ozzy and we all slept until 1:30pm.  But he was still cranky and tantrum-y all evening.
So food.  He did eat a lot of junk today, we had a meet and greet for Ozzy where he ate cookies, popcorn, chips, and some fruit.  Maybe he's getting too much sugar?  
I took him for about a 20 minute walk today which was nice.  I'm going to try and get him out every day for some fresh air though I know this will get harder as it gets colder with winter.  
I think Eli is the kind of child that does really well with a routine and obviously that has been turned upside down.  He has a new brother, his dad has been home, we've had visitors and parties.  So I am working on a routine for once Daddy is back at work.


Morning routine - which includes diaper changes, getting dressed, and Eli and I having our special drinks (Univera)
Breakfast
Sesame street (or at least Elmo's World because Eli LOVES Elmo)
Walk
Lunch
Nap
Playtime and/or Baking or helping with dinner somehow
Dinner
Playtime
Bath
Books!
Brush Teeth
Bed


All I know is I can't keep handling meltdowns every time he needs to nap, sleep, leave Grandma's, get out of the bath, stop eating etc. etc.


This is not easy, but I didn't expect it to be. Parenting is so in the moment, ever-changing and evolving.