The story of Ozzy: (A possible TMI for the faint of heart)
On Tuesday night I was really cranky. I told baby it was time, I'd had enough. Then when we got home from picking up Eli from my parents after yoga, I wrote on our whiteboard "Honey Do List" - "HAVE BABY". A task that I was able to cross off the very next morning.
At yoga that Tuesday night my yoga teacher was teaching a kriya to clear the sub-conscious mind. He looked directly at me and said "this is what your baby is waiting for." I said in return, "ok, I will hold you to that. I better have this boy tomorrow." Then I did the kriya with all my heart, soul and intention.
At 4:45am I had a very uncomfortable contraction, and more came every about 15 minutes. I was not convinced. They got closer together but stayed the same pain level but they were every 6 mins, 8 mins, 10 mins, so I was really unconvinced. But still something told me to page my midwife just from how uncomfortable I was. Suzanne was attending a birth in Kelowna but said she'd have Aly call me shortly. A half hour later Aly called me and offered to check me before she went in to clinic even though my contractions were leveling off at 10 mins apart.
I will never forget the relief I felt when she told me I was 4-5 cm at 8:30am. It's actually happening!!!!! I had a shower and called in my team and they were all here within about 40 minutes. We sat around and chatted for about an hour and at 10:30 my contractions were getting very intense, much more intense than with Eli. By 11am I was 9cm dilated and I moved to my birthing room where I leaned on the ball on my knees with Erin and Justin massaging my back, Fateh taking pictures, my mom feeding Eli lunch in the kitchen.
Then I needed to go to the bathroom and that was where my body needed to start pushing. So in the tiniest room in my entire house I hung off Justin's shoulders and pushed, Aly and Suzanne squished against the sink, Erin in the bathtub, Fateh in the doorway documenting it all. Eli still eating blissfully in the kitchen. Finally my midwives brought in the birthing stool since holding my weight was wearing on Justin and 2-3 pushes later, Erin brushing back my hair, Justin and Aly caught little Ozzy. My placenta put the icing on the cake by surprising everyone 20 seconds later. I got to hold my little man immediately but he was a little blue so they took him for some oxygen which did the trick.
On the way by Eli got his first look at his little brother and has been smitten every since giving him as many kisses as we allow.
After some stitching I was good as new and Erin helped me remember how to breastfeed, Fateh took care of everyone feeding toast and tea, Justin took amazing care of me and my mom gave Eli his big brother gift which he played with delightfully.
Let me just say this right now I love my birth team, every person there was so valuable to me in their own special way and I am so lucky. Thank you birth team you made this perfect for me.
It was truly perfect and everything I could have hoped for though more pain than I remembered but definitely still tolerable.
Ozzy weighed 8 lbs 3 oz and was 21.25 inches. He took to feeding immediately and is sleeping pretty well. We are a little concerned with jaundice currently so it's been difficult getting him to stay awake for the 15 minutes minimum suggested by my midwives. So I am hoping we can de-yellow him quickly and will not need any heat lamp assistance.
Other than that nursing is as painful as I remember which is too bad. I have had lots of help from my mom in law and Justin's family. I am definitely nervous about when I have to do this all on my own but am trying not to think about it and am just concentrating on healing right now. Luckily the after pains are going away (ouch!). It's true, they are worse the second time!!
I am feeling very blessed with my family right now! Thank you, thank you, thank you!
And so begins my second year of confessions of a new mom. I truly feel like a new mom all over again, especially after that completely different pregnancy and birth.
Who knew? Who could have guessed after having a baby at 35.5 weeks and worrying the crap out of everyone that this time around I would be writing about patience at 39 weeks 2 (nearly 3) days.
I am getting very impatient though. I am uncomfortable, not so much in my body, though that has seemed to start last night with the backache, feet and legs and hips hurting, it's the nights of contracting that are getting to me!
The first was the night before Halloween, and since then about every 3-4 days I will go through an hour or two (or three) of fairly regular contractions that of course happen in during sleeping time. I had my worst round yet last night, I swore I was in labour. They were more intense than I had experienced before and accompanied by nausea and back pain and lots of cramping. But sure enough I couldn't find a regular pattern in them and after 2 hours they stopped.
I've heard my chiropractor say a few times now "we'll make the appointment for (insert date here), but you'll never make it!" It hurts to go to the appointment, I feel so frustrated! Last time he said well it sounds like your body has done the majority of the work already so it'll pretty much be a "one-push birth". That sounds exciting and scary at the same time.
I'm also beginning to get worried about how big this baby is getting. I know everyone keeps saying don't think about it but come on! All I have time to do is think! Eli was 6.5 lbs at 35.5 weeks, second babies are heavier, and every week for the last four or so they gain .5 lb... so by my calculation I have a 9 lb baby waiting to come out right now. *GULP
It's the emotional part that is throwing me for a loop, this on again off again contracting, is this it? Is THIS it? Is this IT? IS THIS IT?????!
I"m getting a contraction right now... baby if you can hear me... is this it????!
I know in many, many ways I'm very lucky to be this comfortable overall at this point in pregnancy. I just can't believe that someone as verbally expressive in the "no two labours/pregnancies/babies are alike" field, could have possibly convinced myself that this baby would be early too. I feel foolish in a lot of ways.
Oh and what is with this heartburn? My midwife said and I quote "women labour for hours to get baby's head this low", so why no heartburn relief??? I guess I just have no torso.
Well likely I have sufficiently complained enough to last me the rest of the pregnancy, so probably enough pity partying. I'm really hoping that the next time I am blogging I have a beautiful, peaceful birth story and a million pictures of my new little man to share. But after the last 3 WEEKS of fake contractions, I'm sure not holding my breath. Maybe baby wants to be a Sagittarius.... maybe baby wants a nicer birthstone than my yellow topaz... at any rate, baby is not here yet.
Soon I will meet you baby. Not to sound ominous but your days are numbered. And I can't wait =-)
Sacrifice is not a word I'm fond of but I've been thinking about a mother's sacrifice a lot lately. What we put our body's through being pregnant, what we go through in the birthing process and then how our body remains this alien vessel of not quite feeling like yours during milk production. If you have 3 kids and breast feed between all kids, in reality there could be a 10 year period where your body is on loan if you have 3 kids like we want.
And because you are the only one able to sustain your baby with beautiful mama made milk, you have quite an obligation to that baby until weaned. You can't just leave for a full day unless you are quite proficient at pumping which takes establishing with you and the baby for taking a bottle and it takes maintenance to keep up the ability to produce that much extra milk.
My husband works a lot. Granted he loves what he does so I am happy for that. But it does mean I pick up a lot of slack around the house and with our son. It has been especially hard doing this while pregnant. So you would think that when he came to me saying I want to do Kundalini Yoga Teacher Training which is 6 days of training in a row 4 times in the next 8 months my flat answer would have been no. Well you would be right, I said, no way buddy! Especially since the first week is my 36th week of pregnancy.
I'm not sure what kind of power my husband has but some how when he has the crazy type ideas he always gets his way. I can have the most solid reasons why not to do it and have everyone else on my side about it and he'll just keep saying, we'll see, we'll see. Then it's like a week before and it's happening. To be perfectly honest this time I just did not have the energy to fight it anymore. By 7pm I'm cranky and tired. Part of me feels a bit like a door mat but I also know a part of me really wants him to do it because it's what he wants and I did vow to make him happy and support him in what does make him happy. I can't help but think, didn't he vow the same thing? Why am I always the one to give in and sacrifice. I would give anything to be able to be at that training too. He gets to do it with all of our community, this is the first time training has left Vancouver so it's a huge deal.
So here I am (up at 4am because that's when my household gets up these days to make it to early morning Sadhana in Naramata) pondering sacrifice. I thought about just doing the teacher training as well but my mom didn't want to watch Eli a week at a time (and I don't blame her at all, that's big) and twice the tuition makes even less sense that 1x the tuition which makes zero sense in our budget. Then there's the fact that even if I didn't have the baby this week the subsequent weeks I would have him, clinging to me because of the wonderful gift of breastfeeding. I'm really not meaning that to sound as sarcastic as it did. I really do feel breastfeeding is a gift. And I think that's what I'm coming to terms with the word sacrifice. Sacrifice though you can't always measure it evenly always does have benefits in some form.
I always feel a little sad for the Dad's because they don't get to carry children before they are born, what a bond we create with our babies as mothers. Then once they are born they want mama because she feeds them. It's like the cat always chooses his favorite by the one who fills the food dish. So being their favorite person in the world can feel amazing and overwhelming at the same time. I would not trade the experience of being a mother for anything but it sure is hard sometimes. I just have to stop trying to measure and compare sacrifice.
I was in false labor nearly all of last night and now tonight I cannot sleep at 4am. It is very interesting being this pregnant. Last time I had no time to sit and think about my labor because it happened so early and before I was even off work. This time I've been doing nothing but think about it for the last month. It's definitely unnerving. But as much as part of me wants to be done part of me is scared this time will be different and I won't be able to handle it, let alone handle care of two kids afterwards. I still have to make it to friday to have my home birth and I really get the feeling I will make it, but everyone keeps teasing me that I will go over and though I know it's mainly just teasing and my heart tells me I won't, I felt I would go over the first time and look what happened.
We spend so much time thinking and preparing for birth when it is the one thing we have no control over. I had this revelation at my chiropractor appointment and it continues to blow my mind.
I just hope I continue to be relatively comfortable compared to most pregnant women. I really am not suffering much. I just wonder what last nights practice session was about. Also I'm gaining about a pound a day which is similar to what happened with Eli where I gained 9 lbs in my last week. Is baby preparing? I guess we'll see, sure can't predict anything!
Thanks for listening virtual world! Maybe I can sleep now!
I will never forget the relief I felt when she told me I was 4-5 cm at 8:30am. It's actually happening!!!!! I had a shower and called in my team and they were all here within about 40 minutes. We sat around and chatted for about an hour and at 10:30 my contractions were getting very intense, much more intense than with Eli. By 11am I was 9cm dilated and I moved to my birthing room where I leaned on the ball on my knees with Erin and Justin massaging my back, Fateh taking pictures, my mom feeding Eli lunch in the kitchen. 
Then I needed to go to the bathroom and that was where my body needed to start pushing. So in the tiniest room in my entire house I hung off Justin's shoulders and pushed, Aly and Suzanne squished against the sink, Erin in the bathtub, Fateh in the doorway documenting it all. Eli still eating blissfully in the kitchen. Finally my midwives brought in the birthing stool since holding my weight was wearing on Justin and 2-3 pushes later, Erin brushing back my hair, Justin and Aly caught little Ozzy. My placenta put the icing on the cake by surprising everyone 20 seconds later. I got to hold my little man immediately but he was a little blue so they took him for some oxygen which did the trick. 
I am feeling very blessed with my family right now! Thank you, thank you, thank you!