Patience

Who knew?  Who could have guessed after having a baby at 35.5 weeks and worrying the crap out of everyone that this time around I would be writing about patience at 39 weeks 2 (nearly 3) days.
I am getting very impatient though.  I am uncomfortable, not so much in my body, though that has seemed to start last night with the backache, feet and legs and hips hurting, it's the nights of contracting that are getting to me!
The first was the night before Halloween, and since then about every 3-4 days I will go through an hour or two (or three) of fairly regular contractions that of course happen in during sleeping time.  I had my worst round yet last night, I swore I was in labour.  They were more intense than I had experienced before and accompanied by nausea and back pain and lots of cramping.  But sure enough I couldn't find a regular pattern in them and after 2 hours they stopped.
I've heard my chiropractor say a few times now "we'll make the appointment for (insert date here), but you'll never make it!"  It hurts to go to the appointment, I feel so frustrated!  Last time he said well it sounds like your body has done the majority of the work already so it'll pretty much be a "one-push birth".  That sounds exciting and scary at the same time.
I'm also beginning to get worried about how big this baby is getting.  I know everyone keeps saying don't think about it but come on!  All I have time to do is think!  Eli was 6.5 lbs at 35.5 weeks, second babies are heavier, and every week for the last four or so they gain .5 lb... so by my calculation I have a 9 lb baby waiting to come out right now.  *GULP
It's the emotional part that is throwing me for a loop, this on again off again contracting, is this it?  Is THIS it?  Is this IT?  IS THIS IT?????!
I"m getting a contraction right now... baby if you can hear me... is this it????!
I know in many, many ways I'm very lucky to be this comfortable overall at this point in pregnancy.  I just can't believe that someone as verbally expressive in the "no two labours/pregnancies/babies are alike" field, could have possibly convinced myself that this baby would be early too.  I feel foolish in a lot of ways.
Oh and what is with this heartburn?  My midwife said and I quote "women labour for hours to get baby's head this low", so why no heartburn relief???  I guess I just have no torso.
Well likely I have sufficiently complained enough to last me the rest of the pregnancy, so probably enough pity partying.  I'm really hoping that the next time I am blogging I have a beautiful, peaceful birth story and a million pictures of my new little man to share.  But after the last 3 WEEKS of fake contractions, I'm sure not holding my breath.  Maybe baby wants to be a Sagittarius.... maybe baby wants a nicer birthstone than my yellow topaz... at any rate, baby is not here yet.
Soon I will meet you baby.  Not to sound ominous but your days are numbered.  And I can't wait  =-)