I have been thinking a lot lately about fulfillment in my life. Ever since i have been off work especially. Some days I think is this my life? Such routine! Wake up, shower, change baby, feed baby, walk some netflix, change baby, feed baby, have a nap with baby, change baby feed baby watch some netflix. Granted sometimes we go for a walk if it's nice. And Eli has been sick lately so I haven't wanted to do much baking with him, having to constantly wipe his nose and such.
But what really do I have better to be doing? I mean it's not like I have the ability to fight crime. At work I was simply doing final reports and discharging paid off mortgages off of people's house titles. Was that more fulfilling of a routine than change, feed, nap, netflix? Nope, just a different routine.
It's hard not to get caught up in what you "should" be doing or think that what you are doing every day is not valuable.
Last night I held Eli while he slept through most of a movie and it was the best I've felt in weeks. That's gotta mean I'm on the right track right?
I am truly trying to enjoy these last weeks with just me and Eli. I have been starting to have crazy Braxton-Hicks contractions all the time and feeling weird just in general. I am definitely ready for a premature birth again, the house is all set up. I even brought the baby swing up this morning. Eli enjoyed spinning the mobile but drew the line when I suggested we put teddy in it to swing.
I've also noticed Eli clinging to Daddy a little more than usual which is neat and maybe some preparation on Eli's part to welcome baby. Sharing mom will definitely be a new experience for him.
Another thing I am quite excited about is my maternity photos which I actually got to get this time! We did a bunch with me in yoga poses and some with the whole family in an apple orchard. They are just beautiful! I'm so blessed to know such a wonderful photographer: Kelly Lindsey Photography
I'm happy I feel ready this time, but I will feel good about going full term if it's meant to happen this time. As I said above I feel strange and my Braxton-Hicks contractions are bad but other than that I feel pretty darn good. My body is a little achy but not too bad. I just have to avoid walking which is hard when you feel cooped up and need some fresh air. I'm trying everything I can to keep this one in though. We'll see if I still feel that way in 6 weeks, hehe.
So to sum up, I've decided I'm living a very fulfilled life right now. I think people get too caught up in comparing lives with others, this is my life at this moment and raising kids is pretty darn important in the grand scheme of things. The occupation of mom has always been there, what other jobs can say that?
