I took a leave of absence for the last month. I don't feel totally healed from my miscarriage and I don't expect to ever be. I definitely took the time to feel it though. I accepted it nearly immediately. I try not to play into the "why me?!" frame of mind or playing the victim though this would have been a worthy time to feel like that. I wanted to feel what I needed to feel. I also tried to not poke around into understanding why I felt things. Two or three perfectly normal days would happen and then I would be sad again. Sometimes when I see the maternity clothes I bought the day before the bleeding started I cry. Other days I see them I just feel sad and move on.
I grow weary of trying to understand everything I feel. I used to look into it and think back on patterns or decide it was from this experience or that time did that other thing. It's exhausting! I end up looping and thinking of not only the experience that I'm dealing with, but digging up every past experience that I should have let go of by now. It's a dangerous cycle!
So I let myself feel sad. It took this long to go a week without crying. To be able to talk to people about it without crying and to feel mostly whole again.
I kept up blogging by reintroducing my food blog. It took a hiatus about when I got pregnant with Eli. So I've come across a lot of recipes since then so I had a bit of catching up to do.
The point of my post today was brainstorming ideas on how to keep my kids outside this winter. They seem so much happier and act up less when they've had outdoor time. Plus they sleep better at night. We have such a small house that indoor activities mean very little movement, other than an occasional dance party. Yoga works sometimes but it's hard to keep Ozzy busy when I'm doing yoga with Eli. Ozzy will just play around and then Eli will copy him and pretty soon yoga is just a doggy pile on Mom.
So other than walks, how do I keep my kids active when weather is colder and I don't want to spend a fortune on indoor activities. Everything I find is snow related and we don't get much snow.
I suppose I need to invest in some awesome gloves and some warm jackets. I get so cold if I'm just standing there so I need to keep moving too and it needs to be appropriate for a 3.5 year old a (nearly) 2 year old. So many components I know.
I've been thinking more about it and wondering what our ancestors used to do. They didn't have gyms, or go jogging, or do circuit training or crossfit, they just ate well and worked hard. As for the winter, I was thinking it was likely too cold to do anything outside but there was such little food that they didn't have to be active, they went into conserve mode. What a strange society we live in. Sit down jobs, little time to exercise and all the convenience food in the world. The recipe for obesity.
It's my birthday tomorrow and I've been eating a lot of foods I don't normally with my party yesterday and I'm just feeling so low energy. Need more fruits and veggies. I'm getting my second farm bag tomorrow so I'm excited to see what local fruits and veggies I'll be getting to cook with this week.
If you have any winter outdoor activities for me please post below!
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