3 year anniversary!

Well faithful readers!  Our third anniversary of this blog has rolled around.  I have a three year old, very hard to believe.  Most days are hectic, crazy and full of yelling and laughter.  Sometimes I feel like I'm stuck in a vortex of craziness and that I'm just watching myself go through the motions going, "oh, you shouldn't have done that," "why aren't you handling this better?"  "Have more patience!"  "You're not really a very good mom." 

A few wise people have said to me that the best sign that you are a good mom is the constant worry that you are a bad mom.  I hope this is true.  

Sometimes my handling skills need a tune up.  Lately I've been finding I have three ways of dealing with my children when they are not acting ideally:
1) Patience - calm voice, reasoning skills, teaching with love.
2) Mount Vesuvius - explosive, lashing out, listen now or else.
3) Escape into the Abyss - deep inward withdrawl, sometimes locking myself in a room sometimes just mentally escaping.

Obviously #1 is the best answer but let's face it, not always going to happen.  Out of #2 and #3 I'm not sure which is scarier to be honest.  Perhaps sometimes I get a little too rough physically with #2 by grabbing an arm or pushing Eli off his younger brother, but #3 I just don't even recognize myself.  Withdrawing from the situation is one thing but I feel cold and emotionless when this happens.  It's much more peaceful than the out of control spiral of Option #2, but it almost feels like the eye of the storm and the worst is still yet to come.  Eventually I will have to deal with those emotions.  But sometimes It's what I need to centre and come back to the situation with a fresh outlook.  At least that's what happens when I withdraw properly, not just avoid.  Otherwise I'm back quicker than I can say "Stop hitting your brother."

So all in all, what have I learned in three years of being a mom?  Not a whole hell of a lot.  I know to be more flexible in every aspect of my life.  I know to always bring a change of clothes for everyone when I leave the house.  I know if I don't bring the stroller I will need it and if I do bring it, likely it will end up just being a large, empty pushing device.  I've learned a double jogging stroller is a waste of money because 2 kids and a 50lb stroller is way too much trouble to push while running.  I've learned kids pick up every habit from you good and bad.  I've learned that even after the worst day, when your child goes to sleep and you see them soundly sleeping you think you are the luckiest person in the world.  Most importantly I've learned every kid is completely different and yet completely the same and love is always enough to carry you through.

I also have a new list I am working on.  It's called "Things you think you shouldn't have to teach your 3 year old but you do".  Here's a working sample, feel free to send me any other suggestions:

1) Don't touch the dog poop.
Enough said.
2) Food coming off a pot or pan will be hot still.  
It's like the moment it hits the plate they think it's instantly cool enough to eat.
3) Don't stand on toys or they will break.
Yes, if you stand on your dollar store plastic wheel barrow it will snap.  If you stand on your mega blocks they will break and take a one way ticket to garbage city.
4) If you are tired you should go to sleep.
Don't hit, don't whine, don't throw things. Go. To. Sleep!
5) Kissing it better only works when you hurt someone unintentionally.
You don't bite him so you can kiss it better!

Anyway, just a start, many more to come I'm sure.  I'm also going to be posting "A year of Eli" blog post soon in commemoration of his third full revolution around the sun.