Welcome!

I was talking with my friend Erin the other day and she asked me whether I had a baby book for my newborn Eli. I've heard so many stories on how the first born's baby book is filled out completely or nearly so and each subsequent child's is less or even non-existent. This makes me sad so I was thinking it may be easier to just blog it. I spend hours on the computer every day anyway, I may as well do something useful. I do enjoy writing anyway.

I have been feeling very overwhelmed lately. Eli is 19 days old now. I think this will also help me express feelings I may otherwise not have an outlet for. Everyone tells you how amazing it's going to be and you truly can't comprehend it until he's here in your arms. The love you can have for this tiny being is just extraordinary. Everyone also tells you how hard the first few weeks and months are and it is also impossible to comprehend this until you are living it. I've always been a fan of my sleep and the first two weeks were easy, apparently I was running on love. Now, however, the weeks of broken sleep are catching up with me in a harsh way. It's very hard to figure out a routine especially with my husband back at work. I feel guilty letting him do anything during the night since he has to go to work the next day yet, at the same time, I feel resentful since what I am doing is work. Most of it does involve sitting on my butt in front of the tv while breastfeeding but still it's work, it takes a lot out of a person. Plus I am not good at napping during the day apparently. Also by the time my husband gets home from work and we eat dinner I'm ready to go to sleep so I don't see much of him during the week. I feel a bit lonely which is silly cuz my friend Erin has been to visit me a bunch and my mom comes over nearly everyday to help, bless her!! Anyway, I will get more in depth on this tomorrow. I should also probably add in the details about how little Eli came into this world and all his stats. Right now though, hubby has offered to bottle feed so I'm going to try and catch the elusive 40 winks. Maybe Eli will make it to 2am before needing more food, that would give me 3.5 whole hours! Darn cluster feeding. Goodnight, I hope.