Back to work?

So the person that took my position at work lost her father this week. So sad. All my heart goes out to her. So my work called me in to fill in for her. They asked me to work until the end of the month (the busiest time for a conveyancer) but we are going camping and have already booked sites and everything. So I am filling in for just over a week. So I'm working a total of 3 days this week and 3 days next week. It's all such a mess too. It's my least favorite time of year, middle of summer and tax time so everything is a struggle to find out who is doing what. At least I'll miss the closing day last minute mishaps! I'm going to try and set them up as best I can so the last two business days of the month go as smoothly as possible!

Anyway so I had to think pretty fast about what to do with Eli. LUCKILY, my angel of a mother is available to babysit. But Eli is nursing pretty often just due to the heat and to teething. So the first day (yesterday) I walked back and forth from work every 3 hours to feed him which wasn't really enough, cranky boy. Then I got home and decided tomorrow, I'm bringing him and my mom. They can set up in my office since I'm in my coworkers and we'll bring all his comforts from home (jolly jumper and play mat) and we went out and bought a portable crib. It actually worked out really good because I was not prepared mentally to be away from my little man so much this soon. I really needed to prepare I think. So this way when I can take a quick break I go and have a cuddle!! But I'm sure getting a taste of how hard it is to be away from him for when I go back to work. Don't get me wrong I like my job and I'm good at it. It definitely is busy enough that I can't think of him much while working but as soon as I hold him I realize how many precious minutes I missed out on. I just definitely know that I am not ready to go back full time.

It is unfortunate timing in our lives right now though. Hubby's work is really busy at this time of the year so he is definitely working 40 hours a week if not a few more. We're going on a nearly week long camping trip a week today so I'm trying to prepare for that, laundry, lists etc. AND the final commitment (and definitely the most exciting!!!) I am FINALLY starting my yoga teacher training. But I only got my books on Tuesday with my first class and assignment due on Sunday. The reading is really heavy, deep, spiritual and philosophical stuff. I have to read each paragraph like 6 times to get anything from it. Then I have to answer questions. The assignment is supposed to take about 3-4 hours but for how long it takes me to read the material, geez I don't know. I was up until midnight last night and this morning I was up at 3, 4, 5, & 6 with cranky teething Eli and then finally got up at 6am to get everything together (including myself!) for work. I'm glad I'm still doing my meditation on making your worries look little. I think it's helping. But a few weeks ago I started the mantra "I can do it all" to myself and I think I'm being tested in that theory!

I am bummed that I had to cancel my coffee date with my friend DL. DL and I have decided to write a recipe book centred around our Okanagan Farmer's Market. It will be vegetarian since we both are but I'm really excited because I've always wanted to be a writer (and a mother and a yoga teacher... it's all coming together!) and I think it's something that could really be a hit around here since the Farmer's Market is SO popular and so many people are moving towards eating locally and supporting local farmers. We'll just have to meet up when we get back from camping and make it happen :)

Anyway I am exhausted and I think I will take my little man to bed and I may just stay there. I'm hoping tomorrow goes very smoothly and Eli's gums are feeling better.

I can do it all.

I can do it all.

That's what being a mother is isn't it?