This morning sometime after breakfast but before nap, Eli comes running into the living room, slips sideways on one foot and gashes his face on a laundry hamper. My little bruiser already. The cut is about an inch and a half. *sigh. And it begins. I've heard from a few people that mother's of boys really need to have nerves of steel.
So parenting from the heart. Actually living from the heart is my topic today. Boy it makes life easier. Just living and acting from a place where you feel true. After my Monday blues I tried this Tuesday and again today and it makes a world of difference. Not sure if it just makes me happier or Eli happier or both of us are happier because each other is happier but it really does make all the difference. Even after cutting his face, all day except when we were out on a walk and the cold winter wind was howling at us, Eli was so happy. I held him as he napped and thought about the children's book I want to write. We played megablocks. We wrestled and I tickled him and he laughed and laughed. I made Jillian Michaels' brownies and he played drums with the bowls and wooden spoons. I made dinner and he played. I did 3 loads of laundry and he walked around happily following me. I did dishes and he played between my feet and the counter. We read books together, even the one before bed without any fussing. And at bedtime, he fell asleep in my arms before I could even walk to the bedroom. But best of all, we hugged lots and smiled lots.
I just had such a dreamy day. I didn't even remember my awful Monday until I came to write this. So what does parenting from the heart mean? Good question. I wasn't even sure coming in to write this post but I have asked myself the question and now I must answer. It's more of a feeling than anything. Tuning in. My husband suggested I really listen to Eli's cries one time and that has really stuck with me. You can tell a lot by the cries. And have you ever been so upset about something just to be upset about it. You're not looking for a solution, or someone to even understand you, you just want someone to listen and then hug you at the end. I think babies do this a lot. Wouldn't you be frustrated if you were little, had a huge brain but were working on learning everything? Wouldn't you be in pain if every bone in your body and every organ was growing all at once? Now wouldn't you be upset if all this was happening AND no one understood the words coming out of your mouth??? So I've been trying to just listen when he cries and really vibrate love to him and eventually he stops and then we hug. Sometimes I can even hear that he's hungry through his cries... or that he's just so overtired or just wants a cuddle. I really truly believe that if you want to understand badly enough you will.
And other than that, I just do what feels good throughout the day. If that means making brownies or doing the dishes because Eli is playing away happily then great. If that means staying and cuddling him while he has a nap, great! I need to cherish these last precious moments of maternity leave. I go back in less than 6 weeks! (Only part time but still!)
I think other than living and parenting from the heart. One other thing I am doing that I really think has helped has been showing Eli how to play on his own. I will sit down with the megablocks and just start building. Not really playing with him but next to him, and he'll mirror me and play on his own. We interact now and then. He'll bring me the violin character that he loves or try and feed me Mr. Police Man but he is learning to play on his own. I mean how are you going to learn things if people don't show them to you? I'm happy to play with him, don't read this the wrong way but I truly think there is something to learning to play and be by yourself as well.
So I encourage everyone reading this to truly start living from the heart. It makes such a difference in making every decision you make and every thing you do feel purposeful, meditative, and most importantly happy.
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